"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical
substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
- Carl Jung
Relationships...
As
human beings - and social creatures - relationships, especially the
romantic sort, seem to be something we simply cannot go without. And as
happy and elated as a positive relationship can make us feel - when
things go awry in a relationship, it can also make us feel downright
miserable.
The
search for a partner which is "right" for you is an ongoing process,
and sometimes it can feel like the "right" person might elude you
forever.
Luckily,
there is much wisdom and knowledge to be gained from this process of
looking for the "right"partner. And this knowledge is not only knowledge
gained about the other person - in testing the relationship waters we
have the opportunity to learn a lot about ourselves too!
“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”
A
lot of people seem to think that if they met "The One", everything in
their lives would miraculously change and become perfect overnight. That
they will somehow be saved, adored forever and carried off into the
sunset to live happily ever after in some magical wonderland.
This
is a common fantasy, although not that many people might admit to it.
The reality is that relationships are often hard work, requiring great
amounts of patience, tolerance, understanding and forgiveness.
Entering
into a relationship with someone also asks of us to look at ourselves
with great honesty, to swallow our pride and admit to the areas we need
to "work" on ourselves, and then actually starting the work of
processing our past hurts and implementing the necessary changes in
order to become a more complete, self-aware person and a better partner
for our mates.
The Most Important Relationship
The most important relationship you'll ever have, is the one with yourself.
How
you view and feel about yourself, whether you accept yourself, are at
peace with who you are and what you look like, will impact greatly on
all your relationships, romantic or otherwise.
The
relationship you have with yourself is the only one that will last a
lifetime, so it is definitely worth putting in the work - even though it
may be daunting and painful (as all growth is) at times.
Once
you arrive at a point where you have made peace with and forgiven
yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings, once you have come to truly
love and accept yourself, you will naturally start attracting positive
partners and healthy relationships into your life.
The journey towards truly loving oneself is not always easy, but the returns are great and the results are most definitely worth it!
Some great self-love and relationship quotes
“The most adventurous journey to embark on; is the journey to yourself,
the most exciting thing to discover; is who you really are, the most
treasured pieces that you can find; are all the pieces of you, the most
special portrait you can recognize; is the portrait of your soul.”
C. Joybell C.
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight.
But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if
you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you.
Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your
combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings
to hinge together.”
Lisa Kleypas, The Blue-Eyed Devil
“To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not
because they’re blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly
see your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people
who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful,
too."
Victoria Moran
“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete
us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find
that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with
somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until
we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we,
each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can
provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves
dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we
enter.”
Tom Robbins
“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much
there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.”
Karl Lagerfeld
Read more about
The Eden Project: In Search Of The Magical Other
by James Hollis PhD
"This book helps to understand what goes on in the human condition and
that magical state called "in love" when we experience the beloved. It
is a wonderful exposition of the jungian phychological view of our
deepest emotions; how they occur, what is their nature, how they lead us
into pain, and the path of self discovery.
The myth that a "magical
other" will give us comfort from this world, love us eternally, satisfy
our deepest yearnings is dissected and forcefully exposed. In its
place Hollis gives us the freedom of self sustenance, the discovery of
solitude and hope for conscious mature relationships that are based on
companionship, trust, vulnerability, understanding and our sexuality."
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