Monday, March 4, 2013

Loving The Whole You

Have you ever thought about what it is that makes you YOU? 

Some people think of themselves as just their bodies or the way they look. 

Others think of themselves as just their personalities, or their minds. But actually, we consist of three parts - our bodies, our minds/feelings AND our spirits. 

This is what the word “holistic” refers to. It means living in such a way that there is a balance between these three parts of you. 

So leading a holistic lifestyle, is living and being in a way that makes you feel safe and free to grow. It allows you to love yourself and others and be the happiest and best you can possibly be!


Your mind is very powerful. It controls both your body and your emotions, your physical well-being, your happiness and your health. This is why it is so important to learn how to control your thoughts. You need to make sure that you think happy, positive thoughts and don't get stuck in negative thoughts about yourself and others. Train your mind to be optimistic, forgiving, peaceful, and have a sense of humour. This will not only keep you chilled and cheerful, but will also help you to stay healthy, successful and have good relationships with others!


Your body reflects what is going on in your mind. If you are stuck in thinking negative thoughts, this will reflect in your body. If you are unhappy and negative about life, you might find yourself getting sick often, experiencing weight or skin problems. You might be tired all the time or find it hard to stick to an exercise routine. But here's the good news! It is totally possible to train and reprogram your mind to be more positive about yourself and others. Once your subconscious mind has “registered” this new, positive outlook on life, you will not only feel a lot better emotionally, you will also start to see an improvement in your physical body!


Your spirit is that part of you that makes you totally unique from anyone else. It is the part of you that is eternal, and is filled with endless love, compassion, forgiveness and immense strength. When your spirit is in balance with your body and mind, you will be able to live a life free of fear and uncertainty, a life filled with joy and abundance. When our spirits are in balance with our bodies and minds, we find it easy to forgive and connect with others. A balanced spirit also ensures positive, strong and lasting relationships with our selves, our friends, our families and our partners.


There's An Artist Inside You That Wants To Get Out

Did you know that you were an artist?  That you were born to express your feelings through writing, imagining,  designing, inventing, drawing, coloring, sculpting, baking, gardening, or whatever creative action it is that feels right for YOU?

A lot of people tell themselves “I'm not an artist”. Or maybe they have been told by someone that they are not. But listen up. EVERYONE IS AN ARTIST. That's right!  A human being's life force flows in the direction of creativity. It is your true nature whether you embrace it or not. It doesn't matter what you were told before. It doesn't matter what you create, and it doesn't matter how you feel about the things you create. The only thing that matters, is THAT you create!

Why You Must Create, Create, Create

When your creativity is held inside, it has nowhere to go and it builds up in your body. It can make you feel very frustrated, depressed or stressed out. It can even make you feel physically sick. When your creativity is expressed, your creative energy is released and this creates a whole new you!

Making stuff or expressing your creativity through singing, writing, or ANYTHING, really, is not only fun, it is relaxing and healing, and will make you feel really good about yourself. Just remember not to judge anything you create. Who's to say what is “good” or “bad” anyway?  With creativity, the end result is not what matters – what matters is the ACT of creation! 


Nature is awesome! Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives in our cities and towns, we forget that Nature is there for us all the time – and it's totally free!

Nature is a place where we can just chill out, rest our minds, recharge our batteries and feel part of this wonderful world we live in. Remember how great it feels to walk on a beach, swim in a dam or just feel a soft breeze, or some sunlight on your face?  Nature is great healer, and a place to connect with our inner selves.

Even just spending an afternoon in a park, watching the squirrels and pigeons, sitting on the grass in the shade of a tree will give you a great sense of peace and calm. How fun is it to feed ducks, watch birds build a nest or to hold a baby animal? Nature is also a great teacher, and watching animals and their behaviour can teach us to see life from a different angle, and teach us a lot about ourselves!

Monday, February 25, 2013

When A Relationship Ends



Breakups can be very painful. It’s normal to have feelings ranging from sadness to deep depression depending upon how emotionally attached you were to the relationship. When you are in a relationship, you make yourself very vulnerable, so a breakup can leave you feeling deeply hurt and shattered. 
The end of a relationship often comes as a big shock, and there will be moments of suffering and grief. It is important to remember that a break-up involves psychological and emotional pain, so it is YOUR MIND you need to work on the most. Only through acceptance, a lot of inner work and, ultimately, forgiveness, can you turn your pain into peace.

LIFE AFTER BREAK-UP – Top Tips For Moving On

Tip 1: Accept that it’s over forever – You won't be able to get rid of the pain unless you face it head on. Accept fully and completely that the relationship is over for good and that there is no looking back. If there is even the slightest denial in your mind or heart, your chances of getting over the breakup are few. By refusing to accept that things are over, you are only going to suffer for longer.

Tip 2: Let the tears flow – It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, sadness leads to tears for all of us. Crying is a very natural thing for us human beings to do. It is also very healing, as it allows your body to release pain and negative energy. You will notice a feeling of lightness after you've allowed yourself to cry. Let go of the need to control your emotions, and have a good cry – you'll feel much better soon!

Tip 3: Get in touch with your grief. One reason why you suffer after a breakup is because of the painful emotions felt in your body. Thoughts become emotions and they are felt in the form of physical sensations like a knot in your stomach or tightening of the chest. Focus your attention on these physical sensations and keep it there until they go away. Deep breathing while you do this will make it even more effective!

Tip 4: Forgive. There is so much power in true forgiveness. It can heal the deepest of wounds. Hate, resentment, anger and spitefulness are the normal emotions to feel after a breakup. But ask yourself if you are really willing to pollute your life with these negative feelings. The only way to ever get completely rid of these unpleasant feelings is to forgive your ex partner AND yourself for everything that happened.

Tip 5: See the bigger picture. You may get angry reading this now, but the saying “everything always happens for the good” is 100% true. That’s why life makes so much more sense when you look at it backwards! As painful as it might have been, you were meant to have this experience to learn from and to help you grow as a human being. Don’t hate anyone for helping you have this experience.

Tip 6: Open yourself to a new relationship – Life is either one beautiful adventure or nothing at all. Live life in this spirit and open yourself to all the experiences it offers. Don’t close your heart to future relationships, but allow yourself to be more loving and open. But remember to apply all the wisdom you have gained from your experience. Love and respect yourself enough to steer away from people and relationships where you don't feel safe, loved and supported.


Getting over a painful breakup will take time and there will be moments where you might feel very sad, alone and unsupported. In order to turn your pain into peace, you need to practice acceptance, self-inquiry and forgiveness.

Growth is always painful. But living through this experience will add a depth to your heart and you will come out a better and wiser person, with more compassion for others and more understanding for future relationships.


After the initial burst of emotions, there will come a sense of calm. This is the time to think very honestly and clearly about yourself, your ex and your relationship. Doing this will help you recognise some important things, and help ensure that you don’t go through the same suffering again.

Ask yourself these two questions, and WRITE DOWN THE ANSWERS ON PAPER. It is important that you actually write your answers down!

  • Can I be really sure that this break-up is a bad thing for me?
  • Can I think of at least 5 good reasons why this breakup is a good thing?

You will be amazed at sense of relief and peace you will feel if you work through the above questions with an open heart. Be sure to write out 5 reasons even if you find it difficult to come up with even one at first. Self inquiry is the best way to get over a breakup, because it eats through all our misplaced thoughts that cause suffering.


Immediately after a breakup, we can feel very alone and vulnerable. Now is the time to reach out to close friends and family, and ask for their support. Don't be shy to do this, people who really care about you will gladly help and support you with their time, advice and company.

After a break-up, you want to pamper yourself a bit. Take a long walk in a park, watch a sunrise, go see a good movie, or spoil yourself with a new book, some great music, a big chocolate or some delicious, home-made comfort food. Now is not the time to beat yourself up, but to give yourself some extra love!

Is there a hobby or activity that you've always wanted to try, but never had the time for while you were in a relationship? Now is the time to do it! It will inspire and energise you, and take your mind off your troubles. Whether it's painting, singing, gardening, social or charity work – a new interest will boost your self-confidence and add instant meaning and joy to your life!

Remember that getting over a break-up will take some time. And time is your friend. Allow yourself the time to work through the different stages of break-up emotions (shock, grief, mourning, acceptance and forgiveness). Know that even though it's a bit of a cliché, time truly is the greatest healer of them all.

The Ultimate Relationship

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: 
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” 

                                     - Carl Jung


As human beings - and social creatures - relationships, especially the romantic sort, seem to be something we simply cannot go without. And as happy and elated as a positive relationship can make us feel - when things go awry in a relationship, it can also make us feel downright miserable. 

The search for a partner which is "right" for you is an ongoing process, and sometimes it can feel like the "right" person might elude you forever.

Luckily, there is much wisdom and knowledge to be gained from this process of looking for the "right"partner. And this knowledge is not only knowledge gained about the other person - in testing the relationship waters we have the opportunity to learn a lot about ourselves too!

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” 
                                                     - Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth and Being Free

A lot of people seem to think that if they met "The One", everything in their lives would miraculously change and become perfect overnight. That they will somehow be saved, adored forever and carried off into the sunset to live happily ever after in some magical wonderland.

This is a common fantasy, although not that many people might admit to it. The reality is that relationships are often hard work, requiring great amounts of patience, tolerance, understanding and forgiveness. 

Entering into a relationship with someone also asks of us to look at ourselves with great honesty, to swallow our pride and admit to the areas we need to "work" on ourselves, and then actually starting the work of processing our past hurts and implementing the necessary changes in order to become a more complete, self-aware person and a better partner for our mates.

 The Most Important Relationship 

The most important relationship you'll ever have, is the one with yourself. 

How you view and feel about yourself, whether you accept yourself, are at peace with who you are and what you look like, will impact greatly on all your relationships, romantic or otherwise.

The relationship you have with yourself is the only one that will last a lifetime, so it is definitely worth putting in the work - even though it may be daunting and painful (as all growth is) at times.

Once you arrive at a point where you have made peace with and forgiven yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings, once you have come to truly love and accept yourself, you will naturally start attracting positive partners and healthy relationships into your life.

The journey towards truly loving oneself is not always easy, but the returns are great and the results are most definitely worth it!

Some great self-love and relationship quotes

“The most adventurous journey to embark on; is the journey to yourself, the most exciting thing to discover; is who you really are, the most treasured pieces that you can find; are all the pieces of you, the most special portrait you can recognize; is the portrait of your soul.” 

C. Joybell C. 

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”

Lisa Kleypas, The Blue-Eyed Devil

“To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful, too."

Victoria Moran

 “When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.” 

Tom Robbins

“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.” 

Karl Lagerfeld

Read more about 

The Eden Project: In Search Of The Magical Other 

by James Hollis PhD

"This book helps to understand what goes on in the human condition and that magical state called "in love" when we experience the beloved. It is a wonderful exposition of the jungian phychological view of our deepest emotions; how they occur, what is their nature, how they lead us into pain, and the path of self discovery. 

The myth that a "magical other" will give us comfort from this world, love us eternally, satisfy our deepest yearnings is dissected and forcefully exposed. In its place Hollis gives us the freedom of self sustenance, the discovery of solitude and hope for conscious mature relationships that are based on companionship, trust, vulnerability, understanding and our sexuality."

                                                                                                     Amazon Customer Review 

Music - The Great Healer

“Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.
But you are eternity and you are the mirror.”
                                                               ― Kahlil Gibran

Music - Magical, Mystical, Powerful

Mankind has been enchanted by music for as long we know. The healing powers of music has been scientifically documented, and there is no doubt that music affects us humans deeply and powerfully.

These days, music as a healing tool is being used in schools, hospitals, old-age homes, prisons and creches, to name only a few.

 Music's Healing Powers

And did you know that the pulse and vibrations of the music you listen to has an effect on your own energy field, and therefore influences all aspects of your being (your thoughts, feelings and physical body) as well?

As an example, just have a listen to the music at this link - The Schumann Resonance  

The "pulsing" sound you hear in the background, is the Schumann Resonance, also known as "the heartbeat of Mother Earth".

By tuning into the Schumann Resonance, the body benefits from the healing frequencies and can more effectively rebuild and repair itself.

For more information about the Schumann Resonance and its healing properties, click here

An Instant Mood-lift

The BEST you - here's how!

Look deep, deep into nature,  
and then you will understand everything better…

                                              - Albert Einstein

 The Healing Power of Nature

With our busy, stressful lives and the toll it takes on our energy levels, we tend to forget that there is an awesome, powerful, instant mood enhancer available to us at all times. 

What's more - it's absolutely free and natural. Yes, I'm talking about nature!

Swimming in the ocean, sitting under a tree, feeding ducks or playing with baby animals - there is a simple reason why these things feel so great and can lift your mood in an instant.

You and Nature are One

It is because YOU yourself is a part of nature, and by reconnecting and tapping into its healing energies, you give yourself an energy boost as well as reminding your body and spirit on a deep level of its interconnectedness with all things in the universe.

True health and well-being doesn't come in medicine form. It comes from the ways in we care for ourselves and do things to promote our general well-being. This means finding ways to look after the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of ourselves equally.

Your body has immense self-healing potential. There is a great wisdom and healing power in nature. You don't have to climb Mount Everest in order to connect with nature - a simple walk on the beach or an hour or two spent in a beautiful nature spot will do the trick. 

A birthday picnic in a park is a fantastic and inexpensive way to give yourself and your friends a break from the stresses of everyday life. Being barefoot, sitting on grass, playing with children and animals - all these are things which have been scientifically proven to boost feelings of happiness and contentment. 

Why not give it a try?

Three Reasons Why Nature Rocks


Being in nature immediately engages our senses. The feeling of the sun or a gentle breeze on your skin. Dipping in a cold mountain pool. Beach sand between your toes. The sound of a seagull screeching. The taste of a ripe, freshly-picked berry.

Seemingly simple experiences such as these allow us to escape from our stressful, everyday lives, into the wondrous and sublime world that is nature.

Nature puts the magic back into everyday life!


Everybody needs a special place, somewhere that is just theirs. A place where they can escape to and recharge body, mind and spirit.

Nature offers each and everyone of us such a place. It can be sitting under a tree in your garden, reading in a little corner of a park in your neighbourhood, or lying on your back looking up at the moon and stars at night.

Having your own special "nature place" to escape to can be immensely healing. It will help you take your mind off your troubles and leave you recharged and invigorated for life's challenges.


Nature is often a quiet place, and its silence can also help in silencing our own busy minds.

Once silent, our minds become receptive to new ways of looking at our lives and relationships. As we breathe in nature's fresh air, we gently clear out our minds, stop the chaos and allow for fresh insights, perspectives and inspiration to flow into and through us.

Feed Your Soul


 Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing,
there is a field

I'll meet you there

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about


Spirituality. What does it mean?

It's a word we hear so often nowadays, but what does "being spiritual" truly mean? One way of looking at spirituality, could be to view it as one of a number of aspects which make up our selves.

Other aspects of our being are our physical body, our mental body (thoughts) and our emotional body (feelings).

These aspects of self all impact on each other, so by remembering to also look after our soul (or spirit) along with our physical body, our thoughts and our emotions, we start to bring balance to our lives. 

This balance manifests as peace, joy, contentment and happiness, among many other pleasant states and feelings!

An Inspirational Focus

By choosing to focus our attention on inspiring things that speak to our spirit, we start to awaken to our true nature, and in the process are freed from many of the often irrational fears that plague us.

Our spirit or soul is that part of us which contains all the wisdom we will ever need - and is eternal. 

Paying equal attention to this aspect of ourselves, can lead us to find balance and discover an inner peace that does not depend upon events or circumstances in the world around us.

Rather, it is a quiet but profound inner feeling of fulfillment. 

A Happier and More Loving You

A spirit-based outlook can help us to become less self-centered, less needy of others' approval or recognition and less focused on collecting possessions and social status.

By nurturing our spirit and expanding our consciousness, we become happier, healthier and more loving people, less likely to cause suffering to ourselves or others.

 Spiritual Medicine
When we have a physical condition, illness or injury, we do not hesitate to go see our doctor.

But what about when our hearts and souls need healing? Where do we find the right words, sounds or images to comfort a broken heart, or calm a troubled and confused mind?

Have you ever considered the healing power of music, poetry or visual art?

And did you know that there is an incredible wealth of spiritual medicine available, ready to be tapped into whenever you need it?

Healing Your Spirit

Throughout the ages, there have been many great spiritual teacher-artists who have soothed, consoled, healed and inspired people through their work.

Be it the wise words of a spiritual poet, the heavenly music of healing composer or the paintings or sculptures of a visionary master - engaging with spiritual art is a powerful way to instantly boost your mood and nourish your soul.

Just have a look at the incredible wisdom and healing in these quotations by 13th Century Mystic Poet Rumi below.

10 Life-changing Tips Inspired by Rumi

By Robert Piper, from his blog MindBodyGreen

1. Challenge Fear

"Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious."

2. Be Bold

"Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth."

3. Have Gratitude

"Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life."

4. Take Action

"Why should I stay at the bottom of a well, when a strong rope is in my hand?"

5. Have Faith

"As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears."

6. Embrace Setbacks

"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"

7. Look Inside

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

8. Learn From Suffering

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."

9. Don't Be Concerned With What Others Think Of You

"I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think."

10. Do What You Love 

"Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love."